I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
