I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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