why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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