I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
