Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
