You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
