If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
