Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
