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Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
