Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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