redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize