is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
