there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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