I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
