Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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