Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
