so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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