seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
