Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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