the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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