This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
