Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Randomize
