the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize