STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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