So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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