If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Farmville is her only friend.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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