Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
