I accidentally had phone sex last night
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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