Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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