can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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