my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Shame is for Republicans.
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