So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
