Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
