is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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