I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
