well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
