i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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