I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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