You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
