I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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