Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
