This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
