i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
