everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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