I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
