Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
