It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
