i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize