I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
