White coat. Heels.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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