What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
