forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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