at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
