Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
