called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
