I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am midnight drunk by noon
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
