Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have post one night stand depression
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