Those balls look pretty dangerous.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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