So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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