Nicole vs. Life
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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