I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
